Sincerely, your Garbage Truck Driver

Stop asking me what

I'm going to do

Where I'll go

How and with who

As if it mattered

Any of that

Frankly my dear

I don't give a crap

Life isn't about

The job you get

The school you go to

The home runs you hit

It's about who you are

And who I am

Growing, maturing

Living out God's plan

So next time you ask

What I'm going to be

I may say an astronaut

Or a chimney sweep

Or I may say the truth

Just to give you a scare

I don't really know

And I don't really care.

A Bent Piece of Wood

Love

So misunderstood

Twisted, warped

A bent piece of wood

Get it all

Get it now

On every billboard

Our golden cow

Let's call it what it is

Lust

Infatuation

I'm choking on the dust

Broken hearts

Broken homes

Breaking people

All alone

So far

From what is real

Because love is more

Than what you feel

Everyone gets

A little lost

But if you want real love

It's in the shape of a cross.

Carousel

I'll be okay tomorrow

But right now I want to be mad

I've kept it in too long

And it's eating at me bad

I'm sick of being lied to

I'm sick of being used

I've been there through your pain

But now you leave me bruised

There were so many times

I could have walked away

You would have made it easy

But I have always stayed

Maybe I'm too stubborn

Or just don't know when to quit

But maybe there's something bigger

Something you can't admit

I know you don't mean it

It just happens when you fall

You're blinded by your hurt

You don't see me at all

So I'll forgive you in the morning

When my anger fades away

We'll go on just like always

But I'll be mad for today.

Like a Playground Without Swings

Away from my heart

Outside of my mind

I locked you out

And so became blind

I thought you wouldn't notice

I didn't think you would care

But now I'm the one

Who feels naked and bare

I tried to replace you

With temporary things

But I felt so incomplete

Like a playground without swings

I need you like air

Without you I'd die

I don't know why I run

I fall each time I try

Thank you for being faithful

For always sticking around

I change with the weather

But you're my solid ground

I asked for rain

And you made it pour

You are all I need

And just a little bit more.

Sky's the Limit

Reach out and take it

Don’t listen to the lies that you can’t make it

I promise that you wont regret it

Look around and see where you are

Come and see that you’re not very far

I know it’s been rough from the start

But don’t give it up or put it down

Let it go and take a look around

It’s time to be real and get off the ground

Don’t forget where you first began

You’re life is more than a grain of sand

I would know cause that’s where I stand

There’s a place for you in this life I know

Even when the road ahead doesn’t show

But you won’t know if you never go

I want to see you aiming for the sky

Cause you'll never know till you give it a try

And it could all be gone before you can say goodbye

What You'll Never Know

Can I walk away
Without a word
Trying to forget
What was never heard
Please forgive me
I was afraid
I couldn't face it
Or the choice you made
Don't be sorry
Or pretend to care
I must accept
What wasn't there
I wish they could see
All that we never knew
What you never tried
What I couldn't do
The fear is there
I'm trying to fight
I know it will leave me
Just not tonight
I'm trying to move on
And let it go
But it's so hard to forget
What you'll never know

In Category A

I'm sorry that I don't fit

Into your small, little box

But I happen to be a person

Not a pile of rocks

Go ahead and try it

Define who I am

Tell me what I'm good at

Label me if you can

Get out your list of records

File me under A

Write down alphabetically

All I do and say

But just remember this

Before you get too far

You'll never really know me

And I'll never play the part.

To The Man In The Suit

I know you're trying to be important

With the suit and the tie

You got life on a platter

A cup of coffee on the side

Some say you really made it

You've got fortune and fame

I say you missed the point

You jumped on the wrong train

Life's not about money

Or how big you can be

I don't care if people know you

That doesn't matter to Me

I want to make you excellent

Better than the best

So you can leap over mountains

So you can pass every test

If you let me I can change you

It will involve a lot of breaking

But I promise to give you more

Than anything I'll be taking

You can try to conquer the world

And build a nice sand castle

Or you can try conquering yourself

And instead of importance, be exceptional.

Not Giving Up

in the moment

i was ready to give up

my heart was broken

never to be the same

in the moment

i let you creep into my life

i was surrounded

by the fear you held me by

and the lies that you would speak to me

of who i'd never grow up to be

but i, i will never die

i will not go down

i shall never drown

i, i won't look away

i found what i can give

a reason to live

and im not giving in

in the moment

i couldn't see my worth at all

through the torment

you had left inside my soul

in that moment

you said i'd never reach the end

that my cries were lost and

only heard among the dead

and the lies that you would speak to me

of what i'd never become to be

but i, i will never die

i will not go down

i shall never drown

and i, i won't look away

cause i found what i can give

it's a reason to live

and im not giving in

oh and what i've become

is more than what i could have ever done

and what my life now can say

is all that you intended to throw away

but i will not give up

yes i will rise above

and i've just had enough

no im not giving up

What I See

I've tried to figure out my way
I've tried to think it was all the same
But in the end it's not a game
You've tried to live it on your own
You've tried to think it's all unknown
But in the end you're not alone

But what lies beyond the emptiness
Can't you see there's so much more than this
You're on your way, you're on your way
And it's never too late

I know what it's like to be down
I've felt the same way you do now
But in the end God is still around
Sometimes we feel out of place
Sometimes we can't see past mistakes
But in the end they're not a waste

Can't you see beyond the loneliness
You have to know there's so much more to this
You're on your way, yes you're on your way
Cause it's never too late

I've been to the end of me
Only then could I be free
I was blind but now I see
I know you think it's not for you
You've tried it all and it fell through
But in the end what's really true

Forgive

Let it go
Don't wait too long
Take a deep breath
We're moving on
Let it go
The regrets you made
The pain you caused
The price you paid
Let it go
The hate you feel
The wrong you did
This time, for real
Let it fall
The grudge you hold
The hurt you held
And left untold
Let it be
It's in the past
What never was
What could not last
Let it go
The life you lived
It's time to move on
And learn to forgive

A Barbed Wire Fence

These pages are white

Waiting to be filled

But my thoughts stand captive

My heart is still

I wait for a feeling

But instead I cry

I feel so melancholy

And I don't know why

I think of innocence

How it never lasts

Of childhood memories

So far in the past

I hate the world

The pain it brings

I want to be young again

I want it always spring

I hate confusion

Deception and lies

I hate fakeness

I hate goodbyes

I just want life

To be happy and good

But goodness is mocked

Happiness misunderstood

I guess it's all meaningless

Nothing makes sense

It's like trying to climb

A barbed wire fence.

Life in Death

In a casket

Clothed in black

Weeping tears

Cannot call back

The silent form

That lies so still

For death itself

You cannot kill.

Immortal beings

That we are

Find ourselves

Not so far

From the door

Of life and death

When we shall draw

Our final breath.

But is there hope

To be found

After we

Are in the ground

Is there life

After the grave

Is there one

Able to save?

I will not fear

The grave so cold

I will not fear

Growing old

For I know

That Jesus waits

For me at

The pearly gates.

Behind

I tried to let it go

I tried so hard to let you know

I felt the hurt that I couldn't show

I went so far just to see you go

I was right there but you couldn't see me

I understood but you didn't believe me

I was even there when you tried to forget me

Now im just left here with a bitter memory

I've tried to leave it all behind

I've tried to forget what I could not find

And now I know it's not easy to rewind

When you can't help but look behind...

Streetlight

I woke up this morning

With you on my mind

Stuck in reverse

Replay and rewind

The sun hit my face

But I wasn't there

Drifting in place

To sometime and somewhere

I'll never forget

Where we were last night

Talking like old friends

Beneath the streetlight

How you laughed

And the way I smiled

Because despite the time

It was worth our while

And when the night grew long

And we had to say goodbye

It felt a little colder

Under that star-strewn sky

Now it's all I've got

That one memory

I have no choice

But to let it be

I feel like I've lost something

I didn't have in the past

It was the first time I met you

And it was also the last.

My Confession

You ask me why

I believe what I do

How I know

All this is true

I try to explain

Philosophically, theologically

But you've heard it before

It's nothing new

All I say

Sounds pointless and empty

Cuz faith runs deeper

Than mere theology

All I know

Is that I know

Beyond the shadow of doubt

To the very core of me

Christ is real

More than life itself

More important to me

Than breath and health

I wish you could see

Wish you could believe

But you'll never understand

Till you know Him yourself.

My Secret

I found God in the morning

When I first arose from bed

I began by praising His Name

His Thoughts filling my head

Then I went about my day

Confident He was near

For He had come to show me my way

And take away my fear

And when the darkness comes again

I will not run away

I've found a Love that brings me Home

A Love that never fades

Destiny

screaming, not breathing
scared of hope leaving
loathing, always holding
afraid to lose control

hard and disbelieving
distrusting what you're not seeing
if only you knew how to break through these chains
if only you could wash out these haunting stains

feeling, always dreaming
mind sometimes reeling
thinking, never blinking
uncertain of where to go

tainted and bruised
you come empty and used
if only you could see past the pain and the sorrow
if only you could look beyond the shadows of tomorrow

dieing, you are trying
to leave behind the lieing
searching, yet still lurking
those faces you hide behind

truth and lies
you decide which one dies
let go of what is for what your life can be
reach out and take hold of your Destiny

Hurt

Beneath the white veil

Hides a black heart

It beats out hate

From the darkest part

The grudge it holds

Is like a disease

It cannot be stopped

It won't be appeased

Hurts pile up

Fueling the flame

The somke is bitter

And only adds to the pain

I hate this part of me

Is poisens my soul

I scream for mercy

But it won't let me go

Deliver me God

From the demons inside

Fight this battle for me

I'm sick of the lies

My hands are tied behind me

I'm sinking like a stone

Save me from myself

I can't do it on my own.

The Death of Me

Darkness

Anger

My own foolish pride

A promise

A prayer

Whispered in the night

The answer

A knife

Tearing at my flesh

Pain

Burning

It's not over yet

Water

Washing

Left empty and bare

Tears

Silence

A breath of fresh air.

If You Only Knew

If you only knew

The tears I've shed

The words that choke me

But I leave unsaid

If you only knew

The pain I feel

When I see you hurting

Unable to heal

If you only knew

How much I care

The thoughts that plague me

The burden I bear

If you only knew

How broken I am

To see you breaking

As you try to stand

If you only knew

That you're not a mistake

You have a purpose

You don't have to be fake

If you only knew

There's another way

There's a better plan

And it can start today.

Breathe

Breathe

Just breathe

Drink Me in

And breathe,

Forget the world

Forget the time

Rest in Me

Just breath.

Let every worry

Slip away

Don't think about

Your fears,

Cast them on Me

And you will see

How heavy

They once were.

Stand still and know

That I am God

Forget about

The past,

Life can wait

Don't hesitate

Just close your eyes

And breath.

NOT THE SAME

There's a price we have to pay
at the end of everyday
from the pain that we don't see
somethings were never ment to be

I don't know why you came around
but everytime I let you down
I know the truth was always there
but this life is never fair

I want to cry when Im alone
I want to tell you what i did wrong
but I know you won't stay long
I want to save you from the pain
I want to take it all away
but I can't go back the same

I understand the pain you feel
it's going to take some time to heal
the hurt inside comes every day
just don't throw your life away

Your worth is more than I can show
if only I could let you know
what lies beneath this heart of stone
but I have to let it go

I want to cry when Im alone
I want to tell you what I did wrong
but I know you're already gone
I want to save you from the pain
I want to take it all away
but it's just too late

When you look back through the tears
try to see past all your fears
hoping someday you will see
this was how is was supposed to be

I know the peace will come inside
if only you don't let it pass you by
and if you still can't let me go
well there's something you should know

I always cried when I was alone
I tried to tell you what I did wrong
but I need to move on
I couldn't save you from the pain
I couldn't take it all away
so I'm letting go today

I tried to do this on my own
I tried to say what all went wrong
but now I will move on
I never thought I'd see the day
when Someone else could take this pain away
and now I'll never go back the same

Before You Close Your Eyes

for every tear

there was a silent cry

for every doubt

came another lie

drowning yourself

you weren't aware

so many questions

but you didn't care

ignoring what was reality

just so you would feel ok

but you always went back

by the end of the day

giving up any reason

truth would come for you

resisting the fear that nagged

everytime it would fall through

trying so hard to forget

this nightmare of a dream

just to find you were awake

wondering if anyone heard you scream

maybe there was nothing after all

no meaning to this life we live for

thinking you'd just be another forgotten

full of emptiness, nothing more

but as you try to look away

before you close your eyes

find the important things in life

don't turn out the lights

i want to tell you im here

but i know im not the only one

look to the One who gives you life

who can undo all that you've done

Obscurity

You look at me

But don't see the tears

You hear me speak

But don't understand

I live on my own

Though you are near

I'm clinging to a raft

While you're on dry land

I don't know why

We don't see the same

I don't know why

We can't agree

You mock my ideals

Make fun of my pain

I retreat once again

Into obscurity

It's hard to pretend

That it's of no importance

When you make me feel

Like a tiny ant

I shouldn't be bothered

By your indifference

I need to let it go

But find that I can't.

Soul Connection

With some it is a spoken word

A knowing glance

A secret smile

With others it is merely living

Side by side

Never speaking

With some it is a cup of coffee

A bright boquet

A post-it note

With you it's just a simple knowing

The tie that binds

A soul connection

1/18/10

Just like a flower

that will not bloom

afraid to open

awaiting its doom

unwilling to share

the beauty within

closed so tightly

fighting to win

unsure of the world

and all its pain

hiding from the unknown

striving in vain

shrinking away

from life outside

keeping locked down

scared even to try

facing the danger

it just wasn't fair

so this flower remained shut

thinking nobody would care

Under the Sky

Today I looked
Up at the sky

And felt quite small

No bigger than a fly,
I breathed fresh air
While lying in snow
And watched
The world go by.
A layer of clouds
Covered the sun
But I knew
That it was there,
I had the sky above
The world before me
And I didn't have a care.
For the moment
All was right
And I was content
Just to be,
The sky was so big
I was so small
But somehow I felt free.
Life may be harsh
Cold, and hard
The world may not be
What it should,
But as I lay
Out under the sky
Right then
Life was good.