one of THOSE days

waiting by the phone
but it's never gonna ring
if neglect were a country
you'd be the king
I don't know why
I bend backwards for you
I guess that's how it goes
this isn't really new
do you ever stop to think
how selfish you are
absorbed in your own life
driving your new car
I know that this world
isn't going to be fair
I'm not asking you to fix it
I'm just asking you to care.

Puddle.

I don't have the words
to articulate
my great need
all I can do
is fall on my knees
my mind is confused
my heart is a puddle
I'm starving for You
for the bread of Life
I don't know
where to go, what to do
I don't know much
I fail everyday
in every way
I want to give up
throw in the towel
do you have my back
are you there?
of course You are
it's me who's absent
fix me sweet Jesus
as I crumble down.

Sailaway Sailor

I wanted to say yes
when you offered that drink
for once to just do
instead of just think
a sailboat after party
at half past eleven
sounded to me
like a little slice of heaven
my night so free
nothing to do but go
a crave for excitement
with no one to say no
I wanted to say yes
but I walked away instead
drove home in my car
and went to sleep in my bed.

m&m's are my new best friend

I've been saving
these peanut m&m's
for the last three weeks
so I could share them
with friends
but they're all geeks
apparently they are busy
with their lives
and can't come
so I opened
the bag
and ate every last one.

Thorn

Will you take this thorn
Buried in my side
It hurts me God
With every stride
Do you want me limping
As I run this race?
Do you enjoy watching me
Fall on my face?
I could do so much better,
Work so much harder
Smile more freely
Go so much farther
If only I didn't
Have to deal with this briar
Oh take it away!
I'm weak and I tire!
I fall to my knees
I can't be strong
It's here I realize
This is where I belong.

Crazy Train

halfway to nowhere

and headed there fast

searching for something

that might just last

oblivious to the obvious

seeking obscurity

anything that will give

a sense of security

oh what crazy dreams

youthful minds aspire

low on commitment

high on desire

will I ever get there?

wherever 'there' may be

caught up in the crazy train

of the reckless and free.

Your Love Compels Me

I don't deserve it
the love that You show
I grumble and complain
and respond too slow
yet somehow Your mercy
outweighs my faults
You cast away my sin
in irretrievable vaults
I love you oh Lord
I want my life to show it
more than empty words
it's not enough to know it
take my stony heart
make it over new
send me and I'll go
I want to live for You!

Put A T-shirt On

I don't like
overcrowded beaches
that smell
of seagull poop
I do however
like ice cream
I'll take
a triple scoop
I don't like
cellulite
or those awful
bikinis with ruffles
that's all I'm
staring at now
hot, hungry
and thinking of truffles.

Hello 2 a.m.

sleep
it's all I can think about
lying here in bed
dream
how I wish I were dreaming
but I'm thinking instead
brains
what curious mechanisms
how mine needs to rest
thoughts
too many of them
ignoring would be best
God
is there a reason?
I cannot sleep tonight?
peace
let me receive it
before the morning light.

Puzzle Piece World

multitudes of people
surrounding everyday
conflicts and pressures
in every imaginable way
bonfires on a hill
subway city riding
blaring horns, an ocean breeze
do I give up or keep trying
he screams out his window
she has hateful words to say
a friend calls me up
to see if I'm okay
popcorn at the movies
tears alone at night
a brilliant sunset
a wrong that seems right
every moment changing
my heart, my mind, me
a million puzzle pieces
I crave stability
narrow in on One
the Rock on which I stand
my center always be
in this world of sinking sand.

Enough

once again I've fallen
flat on my back
in Your strength
supply what I lack
You know that I need You
yet somehow I forget
until life comes too fast
and I take a hit
dear Lord I'm so weak
like a helpless little ant
I try to muscle through
but I'm an ant and I can't
I've been relying on others
to fulfill my needs
but when I lean they fall
like wimpy little reeds
aren't we all just the same
pretending we're tough
when You're the only one
who will always be Enough.

daisy chain

what is in the water
around this part of town
wedding bells are peeling
with a deafening sort of sound
my friends are disappearing
into the marital abyss
last I knew we were kids
in love with a Hershey Kiss
I guess something happened
while I was unaware
get married? I'm too busy
braiding daisies in my hair.

when good men die

don’t tell me to stop

when my heart rate quickens

don’t try to smooth it over

as the crime scene thickens

don’t start worrying

that I’m not as calm as you

when the world is exploding

and the sky is falling through

don’t read to me verses

of calmness and peace

I believe in that too

after evil has ceased

don’t tell me it’s ok

when we both know it’s not

there are better things to do

than think a nice thought

don’t patronize me

as if I am the wrong one

for being angry at evil

and atrocities done

don’t blame me for getting

upset when good men die

it might never make a difference

but at least I’m gonna try.

Little Mother

Little lungs
Not yet breathing
Little heart
Softly beating
Little girl
With life inside
Scared to death
She must decide
Her friends insist
To fix it quick
But is terminating
Really a fix?
Her eyes are red
Her heart is torn
Would it be better
If her child wasn't born?
Somebody tell her
This life has meaning
Before it's too late
While 2 hearts are beating.

fairweather feather

it would be lying to say

I never think of you

for I do

it is not with happiness

nor with disgust

for both of these are far behind me

it is not so much love lost

as friendship lost

that part still hurts

for loyalty is a punisher

to those who abide by it

I do not resent you

nor do I wish to know you again

but I hope you are happy

in your life

as I am in mine

and my thought concludes

see ya when I see ya. 

sun country

spread out like butter

clouds of puffy white

sun blinds my eyes

but I keep them open

drinking in the vastness of the sky

skyscrapers turn to beaches

beaches to red desert

rolling with sand

interrupted by majestic peaks

what a beautiful world

what a lucky girl I am

I wish to never lose this thought

this wonderment I feel

I want to always wonder

I wish to always wander

a taste of freedom

apart from gravity. 

Jumpin the Train

that was the beginning
that cool fall afternoon
I tried so hard not to care
to look like I wasn't into you
they made it a point
to get us both together
I just lean back and laugh
they had it all put together
if only life was that simple
I'd be jumping on that train
I'd leave the past behind
there'd be no guessing games
but alas it's not that easy
to find someone to love
it ends up taking a lifetime
which is just enough
for me to give away
all the love I've held back
for only then will I become
more than what I lack.

Fly

underneath it all
Im nothing but a skeleton
I try to look fierce
but in reality I'm only gelatin
I want to be tough
like I'm the only one I need
but I know I gotta admit
you are more to me
than what I aim to be
and all the fronts I try to play
for you uncover my ugliness
and never run away
you are more to me
than all the messes I've acquired
you pull me up to stand with you
even when I'm just too tired
you look me in the eye
and I cannot look away
giving me air to breath again
washing my tears away
not a thing in this world
can keep me from your side
for only when I feel your breath
my wings can spread to fly.

You are God

be not silent
when rain comes down
be not deaf
when I cry out loud
be not distant
when I need you close
be not dead
when I need you most
be not angry
when there's a need
be not troubled
when love is far from me
be not sad
when troubles mound like sand
for You are God alone
and I am but man

before sneezing is banned

why is it

socially unacceptable

to pick one's nose?

you know we all do it

it is my happy repose

you say that is nasty?

totally gross?

there is a host

of more grossness

picking is not most

what about letting

your boogers

pile up for years?

then I think you'd reconsider

and hold back your sneers

who decides what is ok

he must be some guy

but I bet he picks is nose

just like you and I.